And if we try to examine the process, the question arises: What are we looking for? Although we can distinguish various objects of our searching, such as happiness, valuable relationships, material benefits, intangible qualities, control over what is happening to us, and so on, all this is a sort of striving for development, for integrity.
More or less everyone is looking for integrity; but because we are different, everyone – on the basis of his or her own state of consciousness – finds meaning in different goals and aspirations which they believe will give them satisfaction or some growth.
And obviously there is no way for us to imagine something completely alien to us, but we put before ourselves our own idea of worthiness and then seek ways to realise it. This, however, means that we actually affirm ourselves – our own ideas, our own criteria…
Today there are a lot of popular methods for a kind of materialisation of desires, which use certain physical principles (NLP, Silva Method, visualisation, etc.). They are undeniable, and even Einstein drew a mathematical formula proving that energy is thinned matter. These methods teach us how we can direct our mental energy so that at some point it will have enough density and will be able to be manifested in the world of phenomena. With this so-called ‘finding’ however, we create an enormous dependence which governs us and limits us. Clearly, even the very first wish for something is a dependence, and then in the process of getting what we want, particularly when it is materialised by ourselves, we become completely closed and subjected to this manifestation, whose energy will be spent on us in the future (some people call this karma).
Seeking is almost always a form of tension. It is related to our dissatisfaction with what is currently going on and to our desire to change it. The problem with this process is that it greatly narrows our perception and, by itself, it is some sort of refusal to accept reality in its current form. This means that we do not know this reality well. And although we want to go further, we are not really sure where we are standing right now and this is one of the reasons for our wandering among those decisions which others say they can offer to us.
And so we demonstrate a tendency to make the seeking an external process and to deprive ourselves of the ability of self-observation and awareness which is essential for our path.
The question “what” we are seeking offers us ready and visible forms. The question “why” suggests much more research. And this research does not concern a particular object of our seeking, but why we are seeking in fact.
It seems there is something within us suggesting that everything can be very different. And it seems this is in each one of us – a primary source of our yearning for something better. However, instead of letting this pure yearning evolve, we usurp its primary momentum and harness it again in the conditionality of our personal ideas and intentions. Yet, people in whom this impulse resounds more clearly direct their search, their ideas at something intransient and universal.
On the one hand, it is clear that our concepts of absoluteness cannot be the absoluteness itself.
On the other hand, any search for such values represents a terribly keen egocentrism and a demonstration of our fathomless greed. We are trying to gain such absoluteness for ourselves, which only proves the relative and limited nature of our ideas about it.
However, if we manage to add an extra dimension to this search, we can establish that there is no way for the hasty and restlessly seeking being to get closer to the deep peace of perfection.
Universal is universal precisely because it is always there and is everywhere. Our mortal hands are not able to grasp the imperishable. Becoming aware of our personal inability is probably the most important step on our path, because when we accept it, it causes a sort of breakthrough in our closed psyche. As a result, the person develops openness to all and in the East they call this openness “attention”. With this attention we begin to perceive the presence of all around us.
When we do not interfere in things with our requirements, it turns out that they have much to tell us and a lot to give us. And this is not to have it for ourselves because everything is interaction, sharing. Knowing and not interfering with this naturalness is actually finding. And it could be said that this is a new and unfamiliar octave of seeking, which we can rightly also call consciousness.
From this point on, a natural process follows, which – without hurting the potential in us and in everything with our personal limitations – we can observe and take part in its deployment, and allow ourselves to be found by the higher reality.