A day in the month of January, 3:40pm. I cross the village square on a cold afternoon with a fine ray of sun piercing through the air. I raise my eyes and read a large printed sign, stenciled on a long white wall: “Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s.” I adjust the coat to my body as if I adjust the content of the phrase to my thoughts. What shall I give to Caesar? A past which I have not seen and known? But the implicit words make me reflect: give to God what is God’s. It is always like this: moments of crossing, flooded streets, moonlit nights, the temperature doesn’t make a difference, these phrases potentiate in my mind, in my thoughts.
I live as if divided into opposing but intimately intertwined natures.
Shall I make a choice?
Do I know this God who so imperiously speaks within me? So, what should I give to God?
It is interesting that I feel myself driven by these two orders of thought that impose themselves on my being. I am somewhat lost in this evaluation with which my being identifies itself: at times with the exterior, Caesar; at times with the interior, God.
I thus raise and regain myself from these “ramblings”.
I realize that my subconscious also has two faces; that my intellectual consciousness also has two understandings.
– How to obtain the correct perception of this instruction?
I deepen the search within me. Going deeper and deeper! Do I investigate the search for an original memory? Is it possible that there is a permanent record, a reminiscence of everything that gave rise to life? To me? To the world?
I realize that something runs through my brain, my veins, my spine like a liquid light. Is this the meaning of life?
Thoughts, analyses, judgments, comparisons. Are these two orders of nature so distant from each other and misunderstood?
But they are in me … I dwell on the past within me. These differences exist in my deepest being. Distant, different, separated and troubled together.
Whom do I turn to in my hours of distress, sorrow and isolation? I talk to myself and I get answers … “What was old has passed; behold, I make all things new. ”
But it was not always like this.
Have I changed my perception of the world or of myself?
I remain distant from galaxies, but my conscience tells me that I am being heard. Near or far, who helps me in these hours of introspection? Are they responses of this natural order or of a divine order?
I realize, then, that in addition to my physical being, there is a being of another construction, another archetype that I need to know, with which I need to relate to, to be more closely involved with. After all, we are two, two in one. One being.
