Self (un)awareness

When looking for me 

I found nobody:

I (un)knew myself. 

I searched 

for what I am,

I found 

what I am not.

I searched 

for what others think I am,

I found 

what I never was.

I searched 

for what I would like to be,

I found 

what I will never be.

I said “I am not” many times,

And each time I removed a piece of myself.

A mountain of rubble has formed,

And, on the other hand, a deep abyss.

I often looked at this imperfect vacuum,

With amazement, discomfort and even bitterness.

I asked if there would be any real essence of me,

Beyond the superficial, the conditioned, the trivial.

But I realized 

– one day – 

That, by searching 

for Being 

I found 

(Non)Being : Perfect in its (un)definition, (a)morphous in its perfection.

I understood this dark, silent and empty space,

And hugged him without fear or emotion.

In its deep darkness I will can – one day – 

see the Imperishable Light flicker.

And, in the absolute absence of sound, 

I will be able to hear

– one day – 

the Voice of Silence.

In that moment, magnificent and beautiful, 

I will know my True Essence;

Because, separated from the Whole,

I’ve never been, I’m not and I never will be.