For as long as I can remember, I recall spending a lot of time in front of the television, absorbed in watching everything. There were so many stories that before I could even reflect on the time I spent there, I was caught up in emotion and would remain watching even longer.
We first had the remote control: a large variety of subjects on several channels, in which you could find something that you just could not miss, something that would not be replayed: the most amazing things a girl could ever know.
Nowadays, fingers work on a smartphone screen, often with repeated movements for scrolling up, down and sideways. This screen shows images, colors and sounds, giving constant stimuli to my brain, which was made numb by so many amazing things to see at all times.
Once, I read an article that said: “Netflix has, as main competitors (among others), people’s sleep”. When I read that, my conscience whispered, calling for my attention, which I ignored. The show’s grand finale was near…
Although, suddenly, being there was no longer the same as always. A huge void arose inside me, and a silenced and ignored voice began to scream, begging to be heard. I was exhausted, and for the first time I beared an urge to manifest that feeling. I was tired of being an audience for other stories, and that abruptly became the most important thing to be done. I was only sorry for listening to myself so late, but I moved such thoughts away, and that urge was merged with the present, and that is all that matters now.
“Being” with friends virtually is nice, better than nothing, I would think. That is not what brings me suffering, neither is it bad, which I had to clarify to myself. The problem is that there is a life in here, which urges to be truly lived.
Realizing I had an addiction, which numbed my senses, I went back to tangible things which I could perceive with my eyes and my body’s movements, I felt arms, legs, neck and ankles, previously neglected by inertia.
Then, from within that body, the movements led to the rising of an uplift. The disturbing emptiness I felt became quiet, and I felt peace. As an act of liberation, I took my shoes, which always walked the same paths, and went to a park I had wanted to visit. Despite the old desire to go there, I had never done so.
As soon as I left home, the sunlight touched my face and kept me warm. The walk had me listening to birds and seeing such a blue sky that no smartphone filter could ever look alike. It was all simple, although undoubtedly broader, just as my perception now. The airspace my lungs can breathe also seems wider. I feel like the air that enters my lungs fills me with an unexplained joy, for I know that from now on I will lead as the center role of my own story.
