A few years ago, I received a rejection letter for a job application. The position was with a renowned company and was the epitome of a dream job for me.
The news was unexpected and I didn’t want to accept it at first. Maybe they had made a mistake. I then sent a second and third application with the same result. Hope dies last
In the book “Americana” by the American writer Don De Lillo, I recently read this quote:
It is so much simpler to bury reality than it is to dispose of dreams. (1)
Dreams can be understood as symbols for the unfulfilled wishes, hopes and idealised versions of ourselves. They are usually anchored beneath the surface in deeper layers of our own being.
DeLillo’s provocative statement suggests that it is easier to ignore or forget the realities of life than to let go of one’s pipe dreams. It is often easier to avoid the truth than to face it. The saying implies that we sometimes choose to live in a world of fantasy rather than face the harsh realities of life.
Is it because our dreams are often a source of comfort and hope, while reality can be unpleasant?
Is dreamed fiction something of a comfort in a painful reality?
There are countless examples of people chasing illusions full of hope, even though reality makes it abundantly clear how futile the endeavor is. There are numerous examples of people with burning hearts who wanted to “unhinge the world”, only to see their dreams turn to ashes a short time later. Many people are fascinated by their pipe dreams and fictions – especially against the background of the often deep longing for ideal conditions.
A goal beckons and shines in the distance: one day everything will be better. And don’t we know this: when you think you can’t go on, a little light comes from somewhere? Hope remains. It is like a veil that hides the sober reality of our existence. As if we were looking into a world distorted by a thick fog. Behind hope always lurks its faithful companion, worry. What if what we hope for doesn’t materialise after all? Sometimes we try to drown them both, but they are good swimmers.
In many ways, the different tendencies to conceal vary in their gradations and manifestations. Some of their basic varieties are
– The glorification of the past,
– exaggerated hopes in one’s own abilities,
– the longing for a perfected and idealised version of oneself,
– worshipful devotion to an ideology or some kind of belief system,
– the distorted perception caused by emotions such as fear, being in love …
Delusions are formed both individually and collectively. In today’s world, the idea of continuous growth prevails in many places, accompanied by the desire for increasing material wealth with a fixation on “taking”. This is accompanied by a reluctance to give something back in return for what is received. The ideological foundation is formed by the thought construct of materialism. In the meantime, however, we are experiencing a steady deconstruction of this mainstream “world view”. The expiry date is slowly approaching, especially in Western society. At the same time, new illusory panoramas are emerging. A life of complete disillusionment does not seem possible to us.
Why do we keep associating ourselves with certain dreams and ideas? What is the cause of this tendency? Is it the construction of our brain that is responsible?
In fact, there is evidence from modern cognitive research that suggests illusion-enhancing mechanisms in our perceptual system.
The theory of cognitive dissonance provides some answers to our questions. “Cognitive dissonance” is a research approach developed by Leon Festinger. His scientific work in the field of social psychology has had a significant impact on the understanding of how people change their beliefs and behaviour. He views every perception, attitude, emotion and behaviour as cognition – that is, as a process with a mental representation in the mind.
Festinger’s theory refers to the psychological discomfort or distress experienced by a person who holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, values or behaviors (2).
Through a variety of experiences in childhood and adolescence, the growing person develops fundamental beliefs about himself or herself and the world. These self-constructions are primarily shaped by upbringing, social environment and mass media. In the course of time, a world and self-image emerges in this way – an individual and limited creation.
The basic beliefs we have acquired can now come into conflict with reality, for example when we experience something in everyday life that contradicts our self-creations. This often leads to us denying or refusing to recognise the conflicting cognitions we make. So, we prefer to adapt reality to our world view, even at the cost of time, energy and constant attention. We then only hear and see what we can bear in our alienation from what is. In addition, images of the enemy often arise on the outside as a projection of our own inner turmoil.
Or to put it another way: it is sometimes easier to deal with an ongoing inner conflict than to let go of deceptive illusions. Or, as Don De Lillo puts it: burying reality is easy, but disposing of dreams is exhausting.
If we look at the idea of avoiding reality in a spiritual context, the term “spiritual bypassing” often crops up nowadays. It was coined in the 1980s by John Welwood, a Buddhist teacher and psychotherapist. (3)
“To bypass” means something like “to bridge”. The term refers to the tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to bypass or avoid unresolved emotional issues, inner wounds and unfinished developmental processes. It is about shielding oneself from unpleasant or negative emotions and protecting the ego. This includes, for example, the tendency to want to wrap everything in life in a veil of light and love.
One way to recognise such avoidance strategies and distortions of perception is to practise mindfulness and self-awareness. By developing a non-judgemental awareness of our thoughts, emotions and behaviours, we can tune into our own inner experiences and see through them when inconsistencies arise. This opens the possibility of achieving an “awareness of awareness” that perceives thoughts and emotions without judgement. We go one step further when we can experience a complete “nothingness”. This zero-point experience means true self-knowledge – being free from hopes, worries, ambitions and ideas, i.e. free from everything that can separate us from the present moment.
The theme of self-awareness and emptiness is also touched upon in Antonin Gadal’s book “The Cathar Legacy”, in which the author describes the knight Parzival’s search for the Holy Grail. When Parzival, the protagonist, enters a beautiful garden, the following scene is described:
“As soon as he was about to begin eating the fruit and drinking the water, the garden, fruit and water crumbled to dust and his thirst remained. A beautiful maiden appeared before him: ‘Come and rest with me’. But when he threw himself into her arms, she crumbled to dust. Disappointment!” (4)
Elsewhere in the book it states:
“He approached a mighty city, beautiful and rich, where everyone called out to him: ‘Welcome Parzival, greatest and purest knight’. When he entered the city, he found only ruins and an old man who turned to dust when he tried to ask him a question. Illusion!”
Parzival remained alone. In the pain of his soul, he cried out: “Even if I found the Holy Grail, it would turn to dust as soon as I touched it.”
The search for the Holy Grail can be seen as symbolising the longing for redemption, purity and perfection as well as the desire for a higher state of reality. The story points to the archetype of all dreams, to the one great dream that is part of humanity’s heritage.
Ultimately, our insatiable longing for ideals points to their actual origin – the divine world, and thus also to our spiritual and mental origin. In the cosmic harmony of the spheres, the various qualities and aspects work together harmoniously. Peace, love and freedom are inseparably united in the spiritual world. In our fractured reality we can no longer speak of unity, here separation prevails. As a result, the ideals that lie deep within us all too often become humanly distorted interpretations of a true, high idea.
With the condensation of bodies and the separation of souls, the divine impulses are transformed into a fire of human longing that strives for realisation. The original idea of unity, love and freedom combines with individual limited ideas and interests, and thus ideological constructs are created. The high forces of pure devine reality come into conflict with each other.
A classic failure of the ideal in our world is dealt with in the legend of the master builder Hiram Abiff. Hiram was busy making his masterpiece – the Sea of Bronze. It was to be the crowning glory in the rebuilding of Solomon’s original temple. The Sea of Bronze can be seen as a kind of bridge between the divine and earthly realms of life. This creation arises through the pure concretisation of forces from the higher field of life of divine reality In jealous blindness, his three assistants add an unseemly substance to the fiery pool when pouring the sea of bronze, causing it to burst. Hiram tries to prevent the catastrophe and asks Tubal-Cain for advice. He tells him to throw himself into the fire, as it cannot harm him. Hiram does just that. He becomes one with the fire of origin and is thus initiated into the secret of fire creation.
However, if we want to realise the powers of divine reality through self-assertion, it often leads to disaster. The wilful use of the sacred creative fire from the garden of the gods leads to destruction.
Should we therefore throw all dreams and ideals overboard?
By following their impulses and moving on to action, we “test” them, so to speak, in the circumstances of our world. We gain experience with our reality. This reality check gives us immediate feedback on whether we have acted “right” or “wrong”. This makes progressive learning possible. We experience the consequences of our self-creations and learn from our mistakes. The result is the healing of illusions. The fiery fire becomes a cleansing fire.
Only in this way can we permanently escape the old dream images and mental speculations.
The seeker of truth recognises that the origin of the impulses for a liberating transformation lies in divine ideality. He knows that this sacred fire is always burning, but that it cannot be realised in the external life field of the material senses.
Those who have not yet explored themselves enough cannot yet see what is hidden in their innermost being. They still have to wander through the labyrinths of their being. Only when this has happened does space for a new reality of consciousness emerge within them.
The process could be summarised as follows:
1. The phase of alienation: The person experiences a break between his or her external and internally experienced reality.
2. The phase of zero-point experience: the candidate experiences a state of nothingness. The old patterns of thinking and feeling can recede. A sense of the forces of higher devine reality emerges.
3. The phase of being seized: the candidate allows himself to be inflamed by the divine reality, gives his life to it and thus enters into a transformation of the soul. Hiram Abiff throws himself into this fire. He can now lead his life in a new awareness. Experience and realisation have made him a guide.
1) Don DeLillo, Americana, page 272, Penguin Books, London England, 1990
2) Leon Festinger, A theory of cognitive dissonance, Stanford University Press, Stanford, 1957
3) John Welwood, Toward a Psychology of Awakening: Buddhism, Psychotherapy, and the Path of Personal and Spiritual Transformation, Shambhala Publications, Boston, 2000
4) A. Gadal , The Heritage of the Cathars / Druidism, page 78, Rozekruis Pers, Haarlem Netherlands 1993 [please check the title of the published book!]
